**I originally wrote this post a year ago and I have decided to re-post it this year on the anniversary of her being home with The Lord. I have had so many ups and downs emotionally this year and several times have found myself reaching for the phone to call her and ask her something or wanting to show her something. Throughout this year I have learned to see her in the small things-the making of pancakes, hemming a skirt for my daughter, starting a new book, sitting in her old chair. Those are the moments to be cherished, the memories, the traditions, the legacy that she has left for me to carry on to my children. So while today may mark a year, its not a day to be sad and mournful because I know that I will see her again someday and until then i will never let her memory die in my day to day life.
So enjoy this post if its the first time you are reading it, or enjoy it again if your re-reading it from last year**
How do you measure someones life?
Is it in what their occupation is, how much money they have, or how many possessions they have?
In my opinion it is none of those and finding our purpose in life can begin by looking no farther than the humble surroundings God has placed you in.
Tuesday March 12, 2013 may have just been another day to many people, but to my family it was a bittersweet day. It was filled with so many emotions...sadness, joy, relief, heartbreak and more. It was the day that my grandmother Catherine passed away. She had struggled through the past year with cancer and put up a good fight. By the end she was so tired, worn out and ready to go home.
I had a special bond with my grandmother from the very beginning. I am grandchild number 1 and through the years growing up I was so very close to her. So much of who I am today is because of her. I was so fortunate to have my grandparents live in an apartment added onto our house for most of my life which gave great opportunity for lots of time spent. Growing up she gave me so many things that I will cherish forever most importantly memories. There are so many I could write a book but a few highlights are: the seagull that took her ice cream at Sea World right from her hand, parades, eating strawberry shortcakes, sewing me costumes, gymnastics where she would have to be the judge, so many vacations & trips, singing Sonny & Cher songs, eating pints of Ben and Jerry's on the couch bed i named "happiness".
Watching her do so many things inspired me to want to be the mom that I am today although that was not her intention. What a wonderful cook and baker she was, how she could sew a masterpiece, her love of reading & knitting and just being the "mom" that is Always there for her children and OH how she loved children. She was the constant in a world that is anything but to our family. Those are things that I feel that watching her do made me want those qualities in me. Our times of laughter had FAR outweighed anything else! She was there for my times of pain, sickness, grief, happiness, joy and accomplishment.
Somehow though life seemed to weather our relationship over the past few years and that made me so sad. My life is not what she wanted it to be. In her eyes she wanted me to be so much more than what she was and was always encouraging me to be and do anything that I wanted....what I really wanted to be most of my life was to be just like her. It took her until the very end of her life to realize that I did not throw my talents and dreams away. The Lord has blessed me with so many talents and I am using them in the lives of my children and God used her to mold me into who he wanted me to be. A whole next generation will reep the benefits of the time, love, care and instruction she put in to me. I am so grateful to her for all she gave me-things both intentional and unintentional.